Dear Livia,

The theme of your fifth month of life seems to be growth. You are growing, in both height and weight, faster than I imagined you would. Grandma L. and I spent some time sifting through racks of fall clothes last week, hoping to find outfits long enough to rid you of that “highwater-pants” look you’ve currently got going on. At five months you’ve finally moved out of your itty-bitty 0-3 month clothes—they still fit around your tummy, though! But not for long… Today you ate a record-breaking 10 ounces at one feeding. Ten ounces? No wonder you didn’t move much after that; your stuffed tummy weighed you down!

A few days ago, cheered on by your daddy, you finally rolled from your stomach to your back. You pushed hard on your arms, leaned your head to one side, gave a push with one leg and voila! A roll! By our reactions one would think we’ve never seen anything ever roll over—we were so excited. In the past few days you’ve been babbling quite a bit and today I heard you say two consonants in a row—quite impressive language development if I do say so myself.

You and I are getting into a home routine now. You wake up around 7:20am and talk loudly until we come to get you. I’ve learned that once you’ve been picked up, you do not appreciate being put back down until you’ve eaten. You eat four more meals later and call it a day around 10:00pm. I’m learning how to be more organized and more intentional in my actions because of you. Woe is me if we go out with a diaper bag that weighs less than 10 lb.—we could be missing something essential! And bathtime! Oh, baths require critical planning. Baby tub, baby soap, baby lotion, baby towel and washcloth, baby comb, fresh diaper and fresh outfit. Fortunately, you enjoy the whole bathing process as long as I sing and pretend to have great fun with exaggerated happy smiles on my face.

All this to say that we love you in a way that we’ve never loved anything before. You are endlessly fascinating to us. We praise God for you!

Much love,
Mama

Last night I heard animated jumping upstairs in the study. Jump, jump! Which really sounded like Bam! Bam! considering our wood floors. In a few moments the Bam noises took bounding leaps from the study to the hallway and down the stairs and all I could think was, Goodness. Sure hope Jeremy’s not holding the baby right now! Next thing I know, my husband flies into the kitchen, arms raised in the WeDidIt! pose:

“She rolled over! She rolled over!”

Oh, the things we get excited about these days!

Sucking her fingers, laughing out loud, holding her head up (it is, too, exciting, Joe!) and rolling over are all on equal turf with winning the Indy 500 or an Oscar. Go, Team Livia!

…is a sleeping baby on your shoulder, breathing evenly on your neck, soft cheek against yours. It’s a feeling that just can’t be beat.

I highly recommend having children.

In honor of your birthday tomorrow (happy 23rd, old man!), I present to you: The Progression of Fussy.

Too bad she doesn’t appreciate Snoopy bandaids!

Yesterday Livia and I picked up Jeremy from work and visited Dr. Brabec for Livia’s four-month checkup. It’s a unique thing, visiting your child’s doctor. I have seen family doctors, dentists, endocrinologists, chiropractors, orthopedists and ENTs over the years and now even a rheumatologist. I’ve been around the block, so to speak, when it comes to visiting doctors, but it all changes when you take your child to one. All of a sudden, you become much more aware of “bedside manner”, much more concerned with growth and development milestones, and much more pained by shots and blood-draws.

I repeat, much more pained by shots and blood-draws.

Okay. So we pretty much cried with her at her two-month checkup.

Yesterday it was just a little bit better. For me at least; I made Jeremy hold her. Laugh and scoff at us soft-hearted parents, if you will, but beware! Someday it will be YOUR baby visiting the pediatrician. YOUR baby being held down for shots. And YOUR heart being wrought with thoughts of How can I be such a cruel parent? This is for her good, isn’t it? Fortunately, Livia calmed down fairly quickly and fell asleep in the car immediately, ouchy thighs replaced by sweet baby dreams. The fun part of the appointment was that our kiddo is growing and developing beautifully! She’s gone from 9lb, 15oz to 12lb, 9oz and from 22.75 inches in length to 25.75 inches. Yup, she’s our long baby; 90–95 percentile in height and only 25–50% in weight.

For now, we’ll continue to parent as we’ve been parenting: feeding her 5 bottles a day, giving her “tummy time”, and playing with her and cuddling her to our hearts’ delight. In a few months we’ll start feeding her solids and our routines will be slightly altered again. At that point she’ll go, once more, for a check-up and, ugh, shots. Maybe then she’ll be glad for bandaids featuring Joe Cool.

Dear Livia,

Today you are four months old!

You are a child who loves to be engaged in this world. I noticed that you fell asleep while playing on the floor a few minutes ago—a bottle and a bath just wiped you out!—so I picked you up and put you in bed. Did you stay asleep? Oh no. Those few seconds, from floor to crib, offered precious moments for you to take in every bright object and every loud noise around. Though quite sleepy, you craned your neck and straightened your spine to take in your world. You like to stretch out instead of being cuddled, you’d rather lay flat on your back than be pressed up against someone’s neck. You’re the “stretchiest” kid I’ve ever known and you’re the only baby I’ve met who sleeps with her hands behind her head like she’s vacationing in Baby Club Med.

This past month has been full of new developments. First, you found your knees and ankles, then your feet. Just last weekend you even managed to taste the feet on your sleeper; your own toes were centimeters short of your gaping mouth. You discovered the joy of playing with toys and now your play gyms (yes, you are spoiled by having two) offer all sorts of fun. You like to bang the living tar out of the little dangling animals or grasp their legs so tightly that I can almost hear them begging for mercy. Daddy is now “Mr. Funny Man” to you and I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that, yes, sigh, Daddy is much more fun than Mommy. We picked him up for some fine dining at the food court in the mall last week; he loved seeing you in the middle of an otherwise normal workday. I came around the corner to find out what he wanted to drink and he was singing and dancing in the middle of the food court. You and I both laughed out loud at that one!

Last weekend you joined me and a whole team of Aunties for our girls’ weekend at Belmont Lake in Minnesota. You are the first babe to join our fun and I’m quite proud of your positive representation for the world of babies. Together we learned that you can sleep just about anywhere, you can certainly eat anywhere (even in brisk breezes with raindrops falling on your face), and you can play, on your back of course, just about anywhere. I am slowly learning that you are quite durable and that I can, even as a first time mom, be flexible.

We love you tons, my sweet little Boo! (Remember this come Thursday when we’re allowing an unknown nurse lady to stick needles in your sweet baby thighs for your 4 month shots. I’m sure it’s one of many moments where hard things will occur and we’ll all cry together.)

Love you,
Mama

I used to think adoption was simple: There are baby girls in China that need homes? Let’s go get one!

And then reality set in. Private vs. agency. Domestic vs. international. Open vs. closed. (Good luck trying to do a closed adoption domestically. I doubt too many folks do them anymore.) Paperwork for the lawyers. Paperwork for the social workers. Paperwork for the state. Paperwork for the birthparents, which is probably the toughest paperwork of all. It’s a fairly odd challenge, writing “Dear Birthmom” letters and profiles of yourself. What if birthmom was an athlete? Okay, make sure to write about your soccer days. What if she is a Christian? Alright, include something about your beliefs in Jesus Christ. What if she hates Christians? Uh, let’s not go over the top with the Christ talk. One could really go crazy while filling out all the forms. All I can say is that we heavily relied on faith in God’s providence. If He wanted us to adopt a baby, we knew all the paperwork in the world couldn’t stand in our way.

The truth is that the adoption process doesn’t end once a placement occurs. (Isn’t placement a stark word to describe the incredible joy of being handed your new baby?) Usually you’ll have meetings with your social workers, bills from the lawyers, letters and photos passed to the birthparents, new social security cards and birth certificates to order, insurance to arrange. And someday, meaningful adoption conversations with your little one. The process continues.

Adoption is not simple. But adoption IS wonderful. I could write “wonderful” and all it’s synonyms over and over and over on this blog and still not get across how wonderful it is to love and care for Livia. I’ve decided that having a child is like having a chunk of your heart cut from your chest and placed within another little body. There will always be a piece of me within her. My thoughts will never be centered solely on myself again. Forever there will be a part of me in this child. Wonderful.

This just in…

Livia Tredway has discovered her legs.

The fifteen week old was previously unaware of appendages other than her arms and thus all play was reduced to the reaching and grabbing of toys and the sucking of fingers.

“It’s quite remarkable!” her father exclaimed late yesterday afternoon. Her mother simply stood nearby, watching in awe as Livia kicked toys and held her chunky calfs with her tiny fingers.

This sudden discovery has taken the Tredway household by storm and has succeed to surpass in greatness the previous talents, ear-grabbing and hair-twirling.

Dear Livia,

Yesterday you turned three months old. Sometimes I want to squeeze you to keep you a teeny baby forever but most of the time I’m just excited to see all the new things you are learning to do. You grow and change all the time… This last month you learned that fingers taste yummy and are nice to suck on when you’re sleepy or hungry. You’ve also learned how to roll over, though you have only done it three times so far. I was on the phone when I placed you on your back and stepped away for a moment. When I turned around again you were on your tummy! Wonder of wonders, you rolled over! You’ve begun talking quite loudly when you’re content… You still coo at your mobiles and the play gym, but the most common noise you make is an “aaa” that erupts from deep in your throat. Daddy and I think you laughed today for the very first time (at Dad’s tickling and zerbert-blowing nonetheless). We do anything we can to make you smile, but most smiling occurs when you’re in a happy mood. There’s no grinning going on when you’re hungry or tired! You still sleep in your wonderfully relaxed position— arm and hands flung out to the sides and legs completely at ease. Sometimes you’ll even tuck your hands behind your head like you’re just daydreaming; it’s very cute. We love getting you from your crib in the morning… You are so thrilled to see us and do these whole body smiles where everything crinkles together in delight. One final important tidbit that happened about one week before you turned three months… You began sleeping through the night! Isn’t sleep wonderful??!

You are our delight. Even though we are watching a lot of movies this month, you are our absolute favorite thing to watch and we love you very much.

Mama