There once was a boy named Zane. He climbed trees and jumped out of them. He felt that he was surely part pirate. He played with his beloved cousin and was loved by his grandma and grandpa, his aunt and his uncle. And most of all, he completed a family and made his parents very happy indeed.

Five years ago I shot family portraits for the Vogel family. Opening this post is like a time capsule and if you’re like me—a mom who is in awe at how rapidly time passes—then you might tear up a bit as you look at this child who used to be a toddler like five seconds ago.

Thanks for letting me into your world, Conrad, Amy & Zane! I love your family.

You are one person.

One person with finite abilities.
One person with specific needs.
One person who should only take on one person’s responsibilities.

A mother needs time to be motherly.
A wife needs time to be wifely.
A worker needs time to accomplish her work.
A human being needs time to just be.
…to be quiet.
…to think.
…to dream.
…to plan.
…to refresh.

In this age of quick news, good and bad both happen fast. The good things make you want to cheer, to praise, to give money, to give attention. But you are one person, and you cannot cheer every good thing. One finite person needs to do one thing, need to trust that others will pick up the cheering, the praising, the fundraising, the attention-getting.

Since you are one person, you cannot do all the things.
You should not do all the things.
You are enough,
simply being you,
cheering when you can,
supporting when you can,
and spending your evenings being quiet,
breathing,
being,
thinking,
and dreaming.

I spend most of the year dreaming of travel and planning, simultaneously, a dream trip as well as the next actual trip. So then it always takes me aback when it’s time to pack and I start feeling a sense of dread about the whole endeavor. I get nervous about the unknowns, I am unsure of exactly what clothing items will be appropriate, and I question the wisdom of the whole affair. Basically, I go from Adventure Lover to total and complete Hobbit. I look around my home and wonder why I’d ever leave it. But then the magic comes back to me as soon as the horizon opens up and I am driving or flying to new places. Inspiration hits. Words start coming back to me, I wish for a camera in my hand, and the sweetness of it all floods in. This last week was precisely what I wrote above—that common mixture of excitement, dread, and fulfillment once more.

This trip, however, involved my entire family and as we drove west on I-80 I’d say we felt a bit like a speedier version of a turtle or a snail—we had everything we needed with us. No man was left behind, and we carried all we wanted in our family car. As the resident Travel Dreamer, I’m the one that usually goes while the others stay, but not this time. We were all together. And since we were all together, we were a mishmash of relational issues, all entangled in the relatively small square footage of our Nissan Altima.

Road trips are an interesting thing, aren’t they? There’s this imaginary family we all have in mind who all hear the call of the open road and somehow they look cool pursuing it. But friends, I don’t know that actual family. Reality looks much more like a thousand personalities, moods, wishes, irritations, attitudes, and opinions crammed into a small space. One person has to pee while another never wants to stop. Another can’t sit ONE MORE MINUTE on her road-weary bottom and wants utter silence in the vehicle while the others are up for a dance party at 75mph. One thinks it’s entertaining to regale the car with how very much she loves the scenery while another is loudly eating the entire canister of Pringles in one sitting. Mom is focused on obsessively throwing out trash at every single pit stop while Dad is annoyed the Horse Lovers of Colorado have decided to parade down Main Street right this very moment as he’s trying to leave town. Family road trips might be about togetherness, but I think they’re a test. During the bulk of the year families can spread out a little bit more, but on a road trip, it’s work-it-out time. The good, bad, and the ugly all come out and you’re forced to deal with it all. It’s healthy, even though it’s not always pretty. The next time you’re tempted to wish you looked like that uber cool traveling family, don’t. I promise you such a thing doesn’t exist because in real life there’s always someone who has to stop and use the restroom. In real life, there’s chip crumbs all over the once-clean car seats. But potty breaks and crumbs can’t dissuade you from making memories. So in the car you go. And last week that’s what we did. From Lincoln to Denver to Estes Park and back to Lincoln once more. And I’m so so happy we made these memories together.