Like most four year olds, Livia is learning her alphabet and beginning to read. The other day she told Jeremy she wanted something that began with the letter G. (I think it was ginger ale.)

Yesterday Livia wasn’t satisfied with her lunch; apparently, she had other things in mind for eating. I asked her what she wanted and she told me, “Something yummy.”

“Oh yeah? What?” I asked

“Something sweet…” [drawn out pause] “…and it starts with the letter CHOCOLATE!”

By the time she explained, with such a funny little grin on her face, that she wanted chocolate ice cream I was lost in laughter. Most days, and perhaps most hours, I too want something that starts with the letter chocolate.

It is 68 amazing degrees outside right now and I am in love with spring. The warm sunshine on my bare shoulders, the clean breeze running through my hair… I get more freckles on my nose and cheeks by the minute, I think. Spring makes me happy. My whole family spends hours outside digging in the dirt, picking out weeds and coddling the baby plants that are stretching toward the sun. It’s spring, “Lallelujah!” as Livia says.

Not blog-surfing is better for me than blog surfing.

That’s what I discovered during the season of Lent. Well, that and the fact that announcing my plan for a spiritual journey might have actually stunted the journey before the first step was even taken.

I had great hopes for Lent. I wanted to pair the denial-of-self notion with forward steps in my understanding of God and my knowledge of Scriptures. Now, on the other side of 40+ days, I can’t say I increased my knowledge. I pretty much marched in one spot during that spiritual journey. Like many of my aspirations, it started out with a bang and ended with a whimper.

As to the avoidance of blogs, news, and Facebook (FB deserves a category of its own, doesn’t it?), it was an interesting undertaking. I’m a blogger and an avid student of All Things Pop Culture, so I actually did feel denied during the Lenten season. By the first Sunday—my respite day as a reminder of the future celebration of Resurrection Sunday—I was absolutely craving the Internet. In that one day I had to work hard to not completely ignore my family as I made an attempt to eat up all the blog posts I had missed in the previous four days. But something changed as the days passed. I began to miss other blogs less and less. I don’t say that flippantly, as though I’m not part of a valuable community, but it’s true that I didn’t really miss what I wasn’t aware existed. (Very similar to our experience of disconnecting from cable TV actually.)

Still, the no-blog-surfing rule wasn’t easy. There were a small number of times I missed out on important joys or heartaches of friends, and I felt a bit left out by learning of events days later. By Wednesday every week I felt highly annoyed by the whole exercise, and then by Sunday, when I could finally feast!, I didn’t really want to. Lent brought up the concept of you-always-want-what-you-can’t-have and as a result I saw myself as fairly spoiled. I’m so used to getting what I want, at least in little ways, that it was a very strange thing to deny myself of anything! In post-Lent days, I’ve realized that it’s common for me to want what I don’t have. In truth, self-denial and long-suffering are two practices I’m not well-acquainted with. It was the moments where denial was hard, where clicking on that one link would’ve been so simple, where I was reminded to turn to God for the power to push through.

In general, I live my life on my own, sometimes forgetting that I am a child of God, the Creator of the universe, Alpha and Omega, you get the picture. I seem to ignore the amazement of Christ’s sacrifical death for my sins and plug on through my days on my own strength. I don’t need to live that way. The Bible is pretty clear that God gives grace and wisdom and strength to us when we need it. Giving up blog-surfing for Lent wasn’t the biggest challenge I’ve ever faced, but it was a worthy reminder that 1) I need God a whole lot more than I think I do, and 2) I am a wuss when it comes to giving up my creature comforts.

There was one huge side benefit to this year’s Lent observance: I felt free to be more creative. By turning off the voices of other bloggers, I found my own again. I felt free to write, free to take photos, free to share those thoughts and pictures with the world. I also read A LOT more.

So, while I don’t plan on giving up blog land quite so drastically as I did during Lent, I think I may limit my time online in a big way. I cringe at making a grand announcement here (“No more Internet from 8:00am to 8:00pm!”) but I wonder if I’ll actually enact a change without an announcement. Hm. It’s something to think about.

I’ve surrendered part of my sunny kitchen counter to future hopes of tomatoes and radishes, zinnias and marigolds. It still amazes me that tiny seeds can yield a seedling, and then a large plant with flowers and maybe edible fruits and vegetables. A little moisture, a little sunshine, and there they go, the seedlings unfurl their leaves towards the light. Livia tends to these babies with great care as well and it’s fun to watch her excitement at the new life.

Spring is all about new life. I found myself explaining to Liv the difference between Easter Sunday and our Easter/spring celebrations of bunnies and eggs. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve loosened up about a lot of things, but I still believe it’s very important to teach my child the importance of Christ’s resurrection apart from the hoopla of colorful eggs and chocolate. Some folks do their egg hunts and baskets on the first day of spring to separate the concepts for their children (great idea, by the way). So far we separate them by repeated conversations about Jesus’ death and resurrection—and by holding our egg hunts on a day other than Resurrection Sunday (thanks, Grandma and Grandpa!).

Livia learned the real purpose of the cross as I explained Jesus’ death to her. It’s amazing how the cross has become something we talk about and refer to with casual ease, and yet it was an instrument for a horrific death for criminals in the past. As a Christian, I can see a certain beauty to the cross in the same way I can refer to tomorrow as “Good” Friday. Still, I struggled with sadness as I explained how the Son of God was hung on a cross to die. At times in parenting, you wonder if you’re explaining too much. But Liv grasped the concepts in a very easy way and moved on to laugh out loud at a silly picture of Doubting Thomas pointing at Jesus’ scarred hands. We talk more about Thomas’ gaping mouth now than we do the cross. LOL.

Bring on the bunnies and eggs—we certainly have fun with them. Come Sunday we’ll be celebrating the resurrection of Christ and the truth that our awesome God has conquered sin and death.

I will lift up my eyes to the hills—
From whence comes my help?
My help comes from the LORD,
Who made heaven and earth.

He will not allow your foot to be moved;
He who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, He who keeps Israel
Shall neither slumber nor sleep.

The redbuds in North Carolina were phenomenally beautiful.

It feels like 21 degrees or so outdoors in Lincoln due to wind chill. Brrrr… Think I’ll keep posting photos of spring on the east coast until the weather warms up here.

These shots are for my mom and dad. Though certain types of dogwood plants grow in Nebraska, the type pictured below do not. We scoured Lincoln, Nebraska, for dogwoods like these and haven’t found any. They must need a warmer clime to grow in. Nonetheless, I have two dogwoods in my yard. One is a red-branched bush that grows like crazy—it’s the happiest plant ever, I believe. And the other is a small tree we planted a short time ago; I’m excited to see what it will do this year.

We’re expecting a spring snow storm tonight in Lincoln. Perfect timing for posting more Chapel Hill spring photos.