“Parents need to say what they mean, mean what they say.”

This is the title of John Rosemond’s parenting column in today’s Lincoln Journal Star. The family psychologist then states the importance of “no” meaning “no” when it comes to raising children.

Easier said than done. Seriously.

When I am running around the house, trying to get the day started, it is easier to repeat my instructions (“Livia, get your shoes on”) ten times rather than stop to make certain she obeys. Sometimes I just dislike being the enforcer–I’m a classic softie who would much rather cuddle and keep tensions low than watch my child erupt in anger and tears. But allowing Liv to disobey by not “saying what I mean and meaning what I say” is a dangerous thing and makes a mockery of my job as a parent. Furthermore, the longterm effects of disobedience for my daughter will lead to her destruction, not to a rich life for her and the people around her (Proverbs 19 speaks very clearly to this).

Enforcing instructions is time-consuming at this point. Really, it’s a fulltime job that requires forethought, planning and the patience of Mother Teresa. I can see why even good parents feel like running for the hills on challenging days.

Livia had just received a brand new purse this afternoon from her Nana by way of Jen Allen (thank you, Jen!). She delighted in showing me the multiple treats inside the little black bag: a packet of gum, a container with coins, and a small white pumpkin. Livia and her bags are a charming combo, I must admit. In retrospect, taking away her new purse was absolutely the right thing to do when she ignored my instructions and warnings (issued twice) while leaving Nana’s house. But that didn’t make it any easier, especially when her small voice apologized from her car seat on the ride home. I, once a small girl quite masterful at employing all manners of manipulations, was not surprised when this apology was followed by, “So, can I have my purse back now?” Heh. My struggle is not with grace, it is with sincere discipline. So no, she didn’t get the bag back. The consequences remain the same and Liv will be reunited with her latest acquisition tomorrow morning.

God, give me strength to do this job. I now have the slightest of understandings of how you must feel when I disregard you. And the slightest of understandings of how much you still love me. Livia is the most beautiful object lesson I’ve ever received.

My sweet niece,

It’s hard to imagine that one year ago you were this teeny and now you’re so strong and smart and capable. What a year! We love you very much and can’t wait to see you grow and learn even more. Happy birthday, dear Madeleine!

Love,
Aunt Becca

PS. Livia says she can’t wait until she can take you to the park. To swing. For hours on end.

My mother’s heart is gushing due to the adorable, and might I add brilliant?, voice behind me. The scene ain’t too bad either. Jeremy and Livia are on the couch and now they are reading books before bed. The voice, the babyish one of my three year old daughter, is “reading” the book she constructed in preschool yesterday:

Livia’s Book of One.

One smiley face.

She’s done with the book and proclaims that she is now Dash (from The Incredibles, God bless Pixar). Then, she begins reading once more:

Dash’s Book of One. And so on.

Adorable. Brilliant. Totally balances out all the naughty from earlier today. Heh.

I spent the first 18 years of my life celebrating September 24 with Andrew, my little brother. So to him, workin’ hard down in Chattanooga today, I wish a very very happy 26th birthday. We love you, Noon/Uncle Noonee/Andrew!

A few months before my 19th birthday, one Mr. Jeremy Tredway came into my life and, by my actual 19th birthday, had swept me off my feet. The last 10 years or so, I’ve celebrated September 24 with him. And only this year am I actually making him the cake he REALLY wants. (Oh the marriage stories I could tell!) Here’s to my sweet husband–happy birthday, Jeremy! Livia and I love you more than you’ll ever know. The photo is for you.

I have a passion right now for photographing surfaces with texture. You’ll notice more than a few recent Flickr pics in this vein. The passion can’t be described, only caught with my camera.

I was planning on posting a few recipes here, but something better is available. I present to you (drumroll, please)… Needs More Butter!

For two years now a small group of our friends has been meeting for dinner once a week. Each household takes a week and provides an entire meal that night. The point of these dinners, besides the obvious point of feeding our hungry bellies, is to build community. It’s easy to get to know one another superficially, but community dinner allows us to see each other in a more normal light. Sometimes you’re tired and a bit crabby from that day’s work. Sometimes you have to eat and run. Sometimes you linger over peach cobber (mmm, Jamie, that was good!) and chat the evening away. It’s all part of the deal. We’ve long intended to collate our recipes… So here it is, our recipe blog. Because doesn’t everything taste better with more butter?

Because it’s not fair for one little ducky to be all alone in Blogland.

**Ducks courtesy the generous hostesses of Karen Choi’s baby shower, held last Sunday.

…and geese. I took Livia to feed some ducks. “Some” ducks quickly turned into a lot of bold geese and I made a fast plan in my minds-eye that involved grabbing Liv and our lunch and heading for the hills in one swift motion. Fortunately, the geese didn’t get too close and I never had to fish my child from the murky green pond waters (there was a second plan involving a dramatic water rescue; what can I say? I’m a contingency-planner). Picnicking and feeding the ducks on a beautiful Friday afternoon was a delight. In moments like this, my three year old is just the person I want by my side.

With cheeks like this, who can resist snapping a few photos? I love having the O’Donnells in the neighborhood and savor our time with them before they leave for Japan in ’08.

Liv is now taking ballet from Miss Joie! How cool is that?! Those of you who know me well might guess that I’d struggle with introducing Livia to organized activities at a young age. But everything lined up just right for this dance class with our beloved friend as the teacher. It was more of a how-could-we-not type of situation.

And besides, Livia in her little dancing outfit just about knocks me over with its cuteness.