Though it might seem like torture to force my sister-in-law to smile while staring into the sun, I’m really pleased with the end result. There are some photos that make me happy — and rarely do those include shots of adults (chiefly because adults don’t like to pose for pictures). This is one of those warm, fuzzy shots for me. It captures Chelsea’s beauty and sweet spirit, plus I know she’s standing by the playground equipment because she’s playing with the niece she loves.
I’ve recently been encouraged by Jean Fleming’s words in A Mother’s Heart: A Look at Values, Vision and Character for the Christian Mother (NavPress, 1982). On page 30, Fleming writes:
Anyone who has tried to lead a Bible study while keeping a toddler entertained or to counsel a distraught friend while a baby cries in the background knows how difficult it can be. We [mothers] need to remind ourselves and each other that our family is our prime ministry and not a frustrating obstacle to “real” ministry.
At the end of the chapter, Fleming encourages moms to write out specific applications for one of the following goals. Instead, I chose to write out the goals, and post them on my fridge, as reminders of the scope of my job as a mother. Though the discipline aspect seems to loom greatly on my mind these days, there is sooo much more to parenting than that. These points remind me of how much I love being a mom to Livia.
Livia’s imagination is growing by leaps and bounds these days. At any given moment, her name may be Jeff (from the Wiggles), Jofus (Joseph of the biblical coat of many colors), or Strawberry Shortcake. The name changes extend to the rest of the family as well. When Liv is Jeff, then I am instantly Murray and Jeremy is Pirate. The Strawberry Shortcake title was actually given by Jeremy after he became Bob the Tomato and I assumed the Larry the Cucumber role. (We don’t own a ton of Veggie Tales, so SS was the next best thing, fruit-wise.)
Liv’s interest in Joseph has increased due to Vacation Bible School. Pastor Keith’s depiction of the patriarch entertained all the kids that week – and my child began emulating him right away. Creating a hat out of a pair of purple panties, one pigtail visible through a leg hole, she declared she was Mad Jofus. Why so mad? I think it had something to do with her mean brothers who took her coat away and then sold her.
Mad Jofus has morphed into Special Jofus. Yesterday Liv insisted on being called Special Joseph and I finally pressed her as to why she was special. “Because I love you, that’s special,” she responded, kissing my leg with affection. Yup, my heart melted a little bit.
This morning I told her that I needed a new name if she was Joseph. I wracked my brain for ideas… Pharoah? Potiphar? Livia settled it for me: Pastor Keef.
The other day I found myself thinking of the fall, planning ahead food arrangements for the Zion Mom’s Group. I was imagining being a part of the team of women who, in years past, have done such a wonderful job planning and executing our gatherings in this room. The coffeehouse was absolutely central to the picture in my mind’s eye and it took me several minutes before I realized in shock that we wouldn’t be congregating in that space any longer. That room doesn’t exist anymore.
I never knew I could care for a building in this way. To be honest, I’ll be relieved when thinking of the old building is no longer painful.
Cousins, cousins and second cousins. We enjoyed a lovely Independence Day. Check out Renae’s Flickr account for even more fun.
Thanks to all you kind, prayerful people who intervened before God regarding our sleep problems. Boy, is life a lot smoother when Livia sleeps at night!
I want to make a few notes about some helpful advice we’ve received lately. Brenda, a friend who is a social worker (correct me, Mom, if I’m wrong with that job title), really helped us with several techniques for rearing a preschooler. She suggested we come up with a short list of behaviors, four to five things, that always require discipline. And she recommended that we work on redirecting unwanted behaviors that don’t make the list. Liv’s chewing on her hair barrette? No big deal! Totally not on the list. She’s spitting in the backseat of the car? Mmm. Starting to get under my skin, but also not on the list. Spitting at me in anger? Definitely discipline-worthy. For those who are curious, right now we are focusing on some defiant behaviors like saying “no” to Mom and Dad, telling us what to do, hitting, throwing things in anger. Brenda suggested that when we feel like we’ve made some success in this areas, then we can move on to other behaviors.
I also picked up the Supernanny book. I really like Jo Frost and think she has some very practical advice to offer. Some ideas I have taken from her include the naughty spot, the notion of being very controlled with your responses to your out-of-control child, and a more gentle warning system before disciplining. While at B&N, I also chose to buy Boundaries with Kids because I keep hearing over and over, and I know it to be true, that kids crave boundaries. As I repeated to myself during some really tantrum-y nights with Livia, “I am pillar. I am a pillar.” Translation: I am strong, I can be strong! Sometimes I would turn into a wet noodle within 20 minutes, but the desire to be a firm boundary-provider remains.
So how did we get our child to start sleeping again? Hah! Do you think I’m going to post that here? Sleep issues invite all sorts of uninvited advice and mothers in particular go all nuts on each other debating the family bed vs. the CIO approach. I’m not going to open up that discussion here. But I am more than willing to talk about some issues that NO PARENTING BOOKS EVER DISCUSS. You just have to email me or give me a call for a little one-on-one chat. Lord willing, your children will all sleep like angels through the night from infancy on.
Speaking of sleeping angels, I have one. She’s cuddled in bed now, door open with a fan running to block out all the firecracker noises. Sweet dreams, punkin baby. (To which she would say, if lucid, “I not a baby! I’m three!”)
**As a fairly extroverted extrovert, I talked to lots of family and friends about the discipline issues we’ve encountered in the last month. Even if I didn’t mention you by name, please know that I love and appreciate you!
Twenty and thirty-somethings, go help Craig out for an article he’s writing. He’s asking for your opinion, so don’t hold back.
My 3 year old is on a quest for world domination. Her first target is me. Her logic? If I can break my mother, then I’m sure I can conquer the entire planet! [cue evil laughter and rubbing of hands]
Scene: Monday morning car ride. Already we’ve fought battles over getting out of bed, getting dressed and an imaginary boo-boo. Now we have just dropped Jeremy off at work and at last we’re on our way to McDonalds for the free coffee and indoor playground. It’s a beautiful day with cool breezes and blue skies.
Liv: Roll windows up. It’s too windy. TOO WINDY!
Me: Okay. [rolls windows up, on Liv’s side of the car only]
Liv: I’m too sweaty. Turn heater on!
Me: You mean the air conditioner? No way. It’s nice outside and we’re leaving the windows down.
Liv: TURN HEATER ON! TURN HEATER ON!
Me: Who is in control of this car?
Liv: Me. [fingers in mouth, as though it’s the end of this discussion]
Dream Sequence: Dark-haired woman with toddler in the backseat parks car and jumps out. Hands flailing in the air, she runs around the car with a crazed look in her eyes, mouth open in a silent scream. Can no one save her? One down, the world to go in the Quest for World Domination.
