I’m going to go out on a limb here and buck the old school tradition of not talking about miscarriages.

I miscarried my 2nd child last week.

I was so excited to share the news of my pregnancy with friends near and far via my blog. I was going to wait another few weeks and then spill the beans—it’s such beautiful news to get to share. But then something went wrong with the growth of the teeny baby within my womb. And then, before I even knew it, I wasn’t pregnant anymore.

My heart fiercely aches right now and I must admit I don’t understand God’s plan for my life. Getting pregnant was a delightful surprise to Jeremy and me and I cannot comprehend the ‘why’ of miscarrying. So for now, I will be content to share a bit of myself with the rest of you. I might share more, I might not. I might need to move on and blog about something else briefly after posting this, then again, I might not. My general policy when suffering is to do what feels good (within limits of course). Friends and family have been unbelievable in their support of us, I try to eat chocolate at least once a day, and I cry and talk when I feel like it.

But I miss being pregnant. And I suspect I’ll miss my 7 week, 6 day old little bean of a baby until I step into Glory one day.

You would think a blog post entitled “Pumpkin Patch” would contain photos of pumpkins. This one does not. It’s become quite challenging to take time to be comtemplative in my photography as I am usually responsible for the well-being of Livia, an active and eager-to-explore almost two-and-a-half year old. A few weeks ago we went to one of the many local pumpkin farms and had a wonderful time. The weather had just turned very fall-like, with a high temp of 52 and drizzly rain expected all day. But in Nebraska you can’t let the weather hold you up. So away we went to the Roca Berry Farm to enjoy a hayrack ride, mazes and wandering bike paths, one funnel cake shared between seven people, and of course, a little pumpkin for my little Punkins. And if Liv tries to tell you about how her mom took her in a haunted house? (She’ll mention words like dark, scary, round and round.) Don’t buy it. I’m mean really, what kind of mother would intentionally introduce her toddler to something like that? Key word: intentionally. Ahem. Let’s just say that next time I’ll know better.

This blog has been woefully neglected in recent days. Its owner has been far too busy doing things like cleaning baby powder off of the floors of the foyer and re-rolling the remains of toilet paper strewn about the bathroom.

It’s a busy job, this toddler mommying gig.

Singing for their supper, er, dessert are Jason, Renae, Joie, Brook and The Artist Formerly Known as Livia. Note: 10 points if you can name what they are singing about.

I love this itty bitty Covenant College sweatshirt. My brother Andrew wore it as a child and now Liv can wear it, too. My heart doesn’t even want to calculate the year Livia will start college (both because anything beyond year 2010 freaks me out and because I can’t fathom the notion of Livia ever leaving the nest), but I wouldn’t mind if Covenant was on her list of college choices.

However, as the photo above seems to indicate, Livia’s choices now involve: cream or sugar? This child, due in no small part to her Papa, loves coffee. [sigh]

Whoever thought the Aerie Girls were a good idea on CW’s Tuesday nights… well, they were WRONG. Ugh and double-ugh.

Please, CW, I beg of you to ditch this concept. You’re making guy viewers embarrassed to be watching these shows and you’re making girl viewers embarrassed to be girls!

(Deviating from my precious niece’s photos feels like a crime. So for now she’s stays on top of the blog.)

There is this thing Midwesterners do with their food. And no, I’m not referring to placing copious amounts of marshmallow in fruit salads, though they do indeed do that. I’m talking about tater tots. Tater tots used as real food options in real food casseroles. Like it’s totally normal or something.

The first time I encountered tater tots in a casserole I was simultaneously horrified and thrilled. I was babysitting and the children’s mother had set out a tater tot casserole for that night’s supper. Oh my goodness. Yumminess in Corningware.

So it is without further ado I present to you: Taco Tot Casserole. It’s comfort food at its best, a dish I secretly resented Jeremy for finishing off for lunch today, even though I had leftover Valentino’s pizza (which I love and crave). Yes, Taco Tot Casserole is that good.

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Taco Tot Casserole
(from Joan Texel)

1lb lean ground beef
1 – 1.25oz pkg taco seasoning mix
1 – 15oz whole kernel corn, drained
1 – 11oz can nacho cheese soup, undiluted
4 cups frozen tater tots
salsa (opt)
sour cream (opt)

Preheat oven to 375.

In a skillet cook beef until brown. Drain. Stir in taco seasoning mix and add water, cook as directed on package of taco seasoning. Spoon meat mixture into an un-greased 2-quart casserole dish. Spread corn over beef. Spoon undiluted soup over corn and arrange tater tots in a single layer over this.

Bake for 40-50 minutes or until bubbly and potatoes are lightly browned. If desired, serve with salsa and sour cream.

Yield: 5-6 servings.

One week ago we were standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon.

More Arizona pictures yet to come…