After becoming a mother I find myself paying more attention to strangers. Though sometimes I am more suspicious of them (like the man at Russ’s grocery store who smiled at Livia and me one too many times) but overall I find myself, how can I say this?, bonding with them. The mothers, that is.
Livia had her nine month checkup with our pediatrician today. (If I haven’t said this before, let me say it now: I LOVE our pediatrician.) Sitting in the waiting room, a fellow mother struck up a conversation and before you know it, we’ve compared notes on babies chewing food, babies climbing on furniture and babies excessively wearing pink clothes. Instant bond. Our nine month old daughters, sitting peacefully in our laps, hardly looked at each other, but the moms? Well, we had a lot to talk about. Fast forward forty minutes, we’re walking down the office corridor, pass by another mama and child and Hello’s are exchanged. Warm, smiley, gracious and understanding hellos. Nice Hello’s.
A brotherhood of mothers exists. Sure, we may disagree on how to get your baby to sleep, what and when to feed your infant, and whether or not your wee one should sit through the church service with you, but still one thing in common holds us together: we are mothers. We understand what it’s like to clean up bodily fluids from the floor, high chair, and every shirt worn everyday. We know what it means to put someone else’s needs and desires above your own. We are used to cleaning the dishes, running the laundry and sending email as fast as possible during a two hour nap. And we know how disappointing it can be when the two hour nap morphs into one that’s only 45 minutes long!
No one told me about this brotherhood, but I continue to discover its importance with each passing day. Those who have mothered before me offer gracious advice and wisdom honed from years of experience. Those who mother alongside me give listening ears, shoulders to cry on and the confidence to continue on in my calling. Thank you, Mom, and thank you, moms. I do appreciate you.
15 Comments
michellew Feb 14, 2005 6:25 PM
It truly is wonderful to join the ranks of all the moms isn’t it? I love being a mom, and yet am daily reminded how much I have to learn about being the kind of mom God wants me to be. Its not leaning on my own strengths and what I think defines a “good” mom and looking to Jesus for that.
Mom Feb 15, 2005 8:50 AM
It was a lot of hard work, but so worth the effort! Adam, Rebecca and Andrew…my work, my joy and always my love. xo Mom
Megan Feb 15, 2005 6:15 PM
Funny – I just wrote something similar (not exactly the same, but same idea) as this for a magazine… Me thinks you might be a kindered spirit! :)
Jacinda Feb 15, 2005 7:18 PM
does anyone else wish that the English language was not as sexist?
point in case: brotherhood
supporting points: man–> hu-man; wo-man; man-kind
adam Feb 16, 2005 12:21 PM
(here is a long — and boring to non-grammar geeks — discourse on why jacinda is soooooo wrong :) )
my sister should have used a different word… perhaps… sisterhood? hmm?
jacinda, please use your dictionary and read the etymology behind “human” “man” “woman”.
(etymology)
Usage Note: Traditionally, many writers have used man and words derived from it to designate any or all of the human race regardless of sex. In fact, this is the oldest use of the word. In Old English the principal sense of man was “a human,” and the words wer and wyf (or wæpman and wifman) were used to refer to “a male human” and “a female human” respectively. But in Middle English man displaced wer as the term for “a male human,” while wyfman (which evolved into present-day woman) was retained for “a female human.” Despite this change, man continued to carry its original sense of “a human” as well, resulting in an asymmetrical arrangement that many criticize as sexist.
(/etymology)
the common substitution for “mankind” is commonly “humanity” or perhaps “people” depending on the circumstance.
btw, “human” has the following root “Middle English humain, from Old French, from Latin humanus. See dhghem- in Indo-European Roots” so you can clearly see it predates english by a bit.
(/discourse)
Jacinda Feb 16, 2005 7:14 PM
i wasn’t being scientific. it was not an assault on the english language. i think i had better stay away from this blog in the future…i repel people, and no one relates. bye. i will go AWAY and be sooooooooooo WRONG elsewhere.
RT Feb 16, 2005 7:42 PM
You don’t repel people, Jacinda!! I love your perspective and oftentimes relate to what you write… Sometimes I just don’t say so.
Jacinda Feb 17, 2005 9:03 PM
i just often wonder why i bother to post here. i was in a rather offend-able mood last night, however, i feel like i’m circulating in a pool of water here that is toxicating.
1) i’m not married and i have a kid (i.e., premarital sex); 2) i don’t believe in God as manifested in Christ anymore than I believe in God as manifested by WakoNda (the Omaha Indian omnipresence); 3) i didn’t vote for Bush (49% of voters is still a lot of people); 4) i believe in gay marriage (not everybody believes there is something unnatural about it); 5) i support abortion rights (no argument on whether it is moral or immoral–it’s “wrong,” just as it is “wrong” to execute prisoners, i.e., the death penalty); 6) etc.
RT Feb 18, 2005 8:55 AM
Maybe you post here because 1) not every discussion revolves around the five points above and 2) because being a dissenting opinion is by no means a negative thing.
You may know how *I* feel about those issues you raised, but I’m certain you don’t know how all the other commenters feel about them.
But the long and short of it is that this is MY blog [said in the kindest way possible] and that the only comments that are posted are the ones I allow. This is my small corner of the internet where I pick and choose what I want to talk about. If you find my blog toxicating, then I have no idea why you check it out.
I’m glad you’re here, Jacinda. It’s so good to know you’re around and contributing to discussion, considering I don’t see you in the Real World often at all.
RT Feb 18, 2005 8:58 AM
Hmmm… My last comment made it sound like I go around deleting comments that, for whatever reason, I don’t like. Not so. The only comments i’ve deleted so far are spam and words that could be viewed as offensive by someone I love.
Jacinda Feb 19, 2005 1:31 AM
it’s *me* who is toxicating, not *you!* anyone i just found out i am pregnant today so maybe i can blame the whole thing on hormones? /sigh /ugh
RT Feb 19, 2005 10:08 AM
Whoa! Way to drop a little piece of info! Congratulations… right?
Jacinda Feb 19, 2005 11:15 AM
Yes, congratulations. My little boy is going to be four in May, and he needs a brother or sister. And I’ve had baby fever for the past six months-year-ish.
Jacinda Feb 20, 2005 12:14 AM
But the boyfriend is demanding an abortion. Shoot me now.
RT Feb 20, 2005 1:57 PM
Jacinda, call me.