Does anyone run Book It! for adults? Okay, even if I can’t earn a free personal pan pizza for my efforts, I will read more books in 2008. Three a month is the challenge. I’ll do my best to post a few words about the chosen books at the end of each month. With that very public posting of a New Year’s resolution, I leave you behind, oh time-sucking brain-dulling Internet, and reach for The Zookeeper’s Wife.

I’ve discovered this little place called Facebook.

Maybe you’ve heard of it?

Christmas is over, people! It’s 42 degrees outside, the ruts of ice and snow are beginning to melt, my husband’s got the doors open while he washes the floors, and it’s 10 days past Christmas. It is officially time to put away the tree and take down the trimmings. (When I say “it’s time,” I mean that for my household only. Leave your tree up ’til July 4 if you want to!)

Livia didn’t want to take down the tree. I explained to her that when May 7 comes around (her birthday, a day she’s already anticipating) we’ll have to celebrate Christmas by going to a candlelight service if the tree’s still up. She then gave her full permission to take it down.

Now it’s time break out the Rubbermaids and wrap up the ornaments until next year. This is not my favorite part of the season, yet it’ll be nice to have a reason for de-cluttering. Bring on 2008.

I want to be a better woman this year, a better mom and better wife.

While watching the first episode of Planet Earth with David Attenborough narrating:

Me: Wow. So. Did you hear about that tiger out in California who mauled… [goes on and on about the tiger and the killing and the two injured zoo visitors.]

Jeremy: Rebecca, it’s taiga. Not tiger.

Me: Oh. [Thinking: Darn that British narrator!]

My second mom (aka Karen or Mom T) makes beautiful floral arrangements. Every time she delivers one, I feel like I’ve won a little lottery.

I’ve been having these days recently (or has it been every day for the last six months?) where I feel like either I’m a really terrible mother or my child is horrifically naughty. It’s gotten to the point where I look around and wonder if other women are feeling as frazzled and harried as I am, or if this is all a big cosmic joke to make me join the nuthouse at a young age. I’m not a person who likes labels (which is probably why I don’t identify myself as a “diabetic” very often), but I’m finding a bit of relief in considering my child strong-willed. There are great aspects to being strong-willed and I look forward to seeing my daughter as someone who knows her own mind and doesn’t easily submit to others’ opinions of her. Yet, I’m thoroughly exhausted by her will these days.

A few things bring great relief to me right now. One, physical breaks from mothering. A consistent quiet time each afternoon helps a lot. Liv has largely disposed of her afternoon nap, but the hour she stays in her room allows me time for refreshment. Preschool twice a week is a tremendous blessing, while Jeremy and my mom are lifesavers and preserve my sanity by letting me go out for coffee or time with girlfriends. Two, good parenting literature. I gave up on reading parenting books a while ago, and now I’m back in the game. Since I like Dr. Kevin Leman’s breezy writing style and Christian worldview, I’m reading Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours. I have a few recommended books which I’ll write about in the future… if I like them, that is. Finally, the third thing that is keeping me sane is conversations with those who have gone before me. Last Wednesday night God put me in the perfect small circle of women who have many years of parenting strong-willed little buggers. I delight in knowing that one of those daughters has turned into a magnificent adult and friend. She gives me hope!

Sometimes I feel shocked by the intense highs and lows of mothering. The highs–the warm cuddles and funny conversations and brilliant observations and adorable looks–are equalled in measure by the lows–the persistent disobedience, the urine on the carseat while potty-training, the tantrums and fake tears. Another mom commiserated on how “poured out” you feel by the end of the day. Consistently caring for another person, no matter what their age, is a huge task that requires personal sacrifice. God is slowly molding me into a better woman. As Jeremy and I raise Livia, we are being trained and taught as well. I take great comfort from the One who is always patient, always loving, and always caring for me:

He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young. [Is 40:11]

“Why are there Christmas lights?”

Livia’s been demanding an answer to this question. Demanding. It’s like the presence of Christmas lights on houses is offending her somehow, and it’s time for answers for such an offense! She’s asked the question several times now and I usually end up talking about darkness and light. Livia understands darkness, it’s a word she uses to describe the Kingdom of the Night exhibit at the Henry Doorly Zoo. (Unlike me, she’s fascinated with that exhibit.)

December is the darkest month of the year; the days will begin to lengthen again once we reach the Winter Solstice. In this month of darkness, we string lights outside our houses and on our Christmas trees, we light candles in windows and relax in the flickering warmth. We long for light. This longing finds eternal contentment in the Light of the world, the Savior whose coming we celebrate during this season. The desire for beautiful strings of lights during a dark season is a reflection of this greater longing for light in a dark world. The news has been full of darkness recently… I’m thankful for a Savior who brings light to the hearts of men, and who will one day fully redeem the darkness.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that had been made. In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.

…He was in the world, and the world was made through Him, and the world did not know Him. He came to His own, and His own did not receive Him. But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name: who were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.

John 1:1-5, 10-13

As a kid, I always wanted it to snow on my birthday. I imagined a sledding birthday party would be the coolest thing ever. Today I got my wish.

It started snowing when I woke up at 7:00am, and the snow has continued since then. It’s beautiful outside, white and flakey and very cold. And though I haven’t been sledding yet this morning, I did enjoy coffee and egg casserole and cinnamon rolls with five delightful women. Life is good on December 6th. After all my moaning and groaning, 30 doesn’t feel so bad!