I’m wondering where my Extroverted self has gone. I still see traces of it when I go next door for supper or when I talk to friends at church. I still get kind of wound-up and energized after those times. But who is this new Rebecca, the one who mutters to herself and oftentimes wonders how long she has been carrying on an internal dialogue and not speaking out loud once, thereby unintentionally damaging the verbal development of her firstborn? Who is this girl who is completely wiped out by 9:30pm even though she got eight hours of sleep the night before and spent most day at home with her child? Who is this wife who, after dining and watching Alias with close buddies, runs home to the computer, doesn’t want to talk much with her dear husband, and deeply cherishes her quiet, alone time? Where, oh where, has my E gone?

Maybe I’m just tired. Maybe I’m worn out by this ball of anxiety sitting deep within my chest. Maybe I’m spending too much time at home alone, not stirring the creative juices by interacting with the outside world. The problem is, even when I do get out, I’m greatly distracted by mommy/caretaking responsibilities. After asking two questions during Alias about missed nitty-gritty details, I shut up. Feeding Livia her bedtime bottle and keeping up with the specifics in plotline were just too much for me to handle, I guess. Julie, the friend joined for the tv show, says all the multitasking wears you out. I believe her. She has two girls under two years of age and her life is one big multitasking job.

For now I will let E rest a bit and attempt to embrace my inner I. Goodnight, my dear Blogland. I apologize for the recent one paragraph posts and simple photographs. It’s all my I self can handle right now.

Sorry if you ever wished for *normal* children. Here’s hoping a birthday wish for normal grandkids turns out better! We love you!!!

I heard a snippet of Martin Luther King, Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech this morning on Good Morning America. I was moved by the small clip of American children, from various locations, reciting the speech. It prompted me to find an audio mp3 of the address as well as a written version. Listen to it today if you can.

Last night in the Tredway living room, immediately following Dr. Pepper commercial featuring the song, “I Would Do Anything For Love”:

R: Whatever happened to Meat Ball?
J: Who?
R: Meat Ball.
J: You mean Meat Loaf?
R: Yeah.

[hilarious laughter ensues]

I stumbled upon this quiz (thanks, mrscrumley!) and couldn’t help but take it. Apparently, I am “not nerdy, but then again maybe not all that cool either.” Tee hee.

Blessings are snow and ice and ice-covered sidewalks. Blessings are waking up a baby, rapidly feeding her, and carrying her pajama-clothed body to an early morning meeting at church. Blessings are being reminded by three caring people to watch out for the ice on the ice-covered sidewalks. Blessings are committee members who don’t mind a talkative baby attending their meeting. Blessings are an office staff, at a former workplace, who still love to talk and share and who also welcome aforementioned baby. Blessings are joints and ligaments that can easily carry pajama-clad child back over ice-covered sidewalks without aches and pains. Blessings are a house with warm rooms on the same block as the church.

Blessings are from a great God who cares for the details of one life, of one girl, on a winter morning.

Finally, it’s snowing in Lincoln!

I layered up in my thickest winter coat, two pairs of socks and two pairs of gloves to scoop our sidewalks clean this afternoon. There’s something refreshing and rewarding about getting out in the cold weather to clean up the walkways. When I was a kid my dad couldn’t wait to get outside; he would start shoveling snow first thing in the morning. Now I can wait awhile, afterall I don’t particularly crave icy snow blowing in my face, but I do find myself enjoying the outdoors the same way he did. I like to see what is going on in the neighborhood and I can feel my desire for perfectionism rising as I try to meticulously scoop the walks the ways my neighbors do. Right now the snow continues to fall and I’m certain I’ll get to scoop at least one more time today. But for now I’ll enjoy the company of Jeremy (taking a vacation day) in our warm, cozy house.

What are the rest of you snowbound bloggers doing today?

Dust off your picnic baskets and break out the summer t-shirts, folks, because the high temp for today in good ole Lincoln is SIXTY-SIX DEGREES. Not one flurry of snow has fallen from the sky this month. Not a one.

I’m loving this.

I am just heartsick at the daily news of deaths from the Indian Ocean’s tsunamis. So many people dead in this disaster, the numbers are simply staggering. I am reminded of how devastated our country was on September 11, 2001, and then think about that number of victims times ten. How does a country, much less a world region, recover from this? May God have mercy on them and may the rest of us be gracious in assistance.

Wow. And I thought things like this only happened in the movies. Note to self: If asked by a “leather goods importer” to play “courier” for “leather samples” from Islamabad, Pakistan, to the United States, just say no.