The question “How are you doing emotionally?” intimates that there is a distinct possibility that something may not be right emotionally. And though I field how-are-you’s multiple times a day, when my physician, the guy who’s supposed to be looking out for my general physical health, asks about my emotional status, well, I get a bit overwhelmed.
The answer is that I’m actually doing quite well. But it hasn’t always been this way. In the past year I’ve gone through many rough spots and dark days. Emotionally, the past year has been a challenge. So while I was honestly answering my doctor’s question, sadness brewed up from deep within my soul and I worked hard to force tears from staining my dry eyes. A few steps away from the office, however, and once in the elevator, I reflected on the overwhelming emotions, the “wow, my life really sucks” thoughts that were beginning to boil over.
It wasn’t until I reached my car that I remembered a few key truths that keep me grounded. One, that this life is temporary and my dealings with diabetes and arthritis are very real reminders of that. In the most odd of odd ways, my frustrating physical condition is a blessing. Granted, I hate both diabetes and arthritis and I feel very, terribly, enormously sorry for myself that I have to deal with one, let alone both, of them, but still… I am blessed because they remind me that heaven is just around the corner and Jesus’s grace is enough to sustain me through this phase of life. Someday soon my joints and pancreas will be perfectly restored and, from what I hear, I’ll be doing some serious dancing on golden streets. Incredible really.
The second thought that keeps from me floating away in my own personal bubble of misery is that many, many people have it worse than me. Just the other day I read an article in the newspaper about this little girl with a disease that ages her prematurely (progeria). Though I’m sure this little girl isn’t helped by my pity, I still felt incredibly sorry that she never had a typical childhood and probably will not live to see age 20. My family and loved ones have been remarkably spared from physical pain and misfortune—and I praise God for that. I also praise God for blessing me with a husband who can counter my complaints with, “Oh yeah? I’ll trade you no hands for diabetes for a day” (and then we discuss what we’d do in that particular 24 hour span). I praise God for my beautiful and amazing daughter, the girl with an immune system so fabulous that even the smallest of cuts seem to disappear faster than they should. I praise God for my spirit, which, though affected by physical ailments, doesn’t remain bruised for long. I praise Him for 70 degree weather, for the greenness of grass, for the white clouds in the brilliant blue sky this morning.
“How are you doing emotionally?”
Pretty darn good.