The subject line of a recent email read, “Trusting God with Your Adopted Child,” and it struck me as a very true hope/desire for those of us who have gone through the adoption process. But the “trusting God” part applies to way more than the future of your adopted child. It applies to the future of your biological child, to the present and future bond of your marriage, to the hard conversations you need to have with your friends, to the health of your physical and emotional self, to the commitment of your community, to the daily grind in the workplace, to the future of your church, to the day-by-day sacrifice of self.

Trusting God is hard. H-A-R-D. There’s nothing at all easy about believing that God loves you and knows you intimately… and then choosing to put faith in Him. Parents who have adopted children struggle sometimes with the messy reality of broken families. What should I tell my child about her birthmother? What kind of relationship should I allow? Should I let her know she has half-siblings? So on and so forth. Trusting God through these questions means praying almost constantly for guidance and wisdom in these issues, and then that word again, trusting that He’ll walk you through each day and supply the answers as He sees fit.

Like I said before however, the trust issue comes forth in every aspect of life. Every single person I know struggles or has struggled with some intense issue. Brothers going off to war in Iraq, pressure and major conflict with coworkers and bosses, strained relationships with mothers and fathers, poor self image, trouble completing major projects, alcoholism, depression, death of a loved one, divorce. There is relief in the struggle in that you don’t have to go it alone. Trust in one greater than yourself, in the God who created you, knows you, loves you.

Psalm 56
3 When I am afraid,
I will trust in you.
4 In God, whose word I praise,
in God I trust; I will not be afraid.
What can mortal man do to me?

Or, an open letter to the drivers who think drive time equals phone booth time:

Dear Drivers on Your Cell Phones,

I know your conversations are important. I know the cell phone is easy to use and that it seems utterly convenient to have your all-so-necessary conversations at this particular moment in time. I know it seems ridiculous to suspend your intense desire to TALK for a few more minutes while you’re doing something as insignificant as driving.

But here’s the deal. Driving is not insignificant. Commandering several tons of vehicle while battling it out with other folks on the road is not a task to take lightly. If you were simply driving on the highway, going one direction for long periods of time, go ahead and have that conversation. But for the love, people, PUT YOUR CELL PHONES DOWN and FOCUS ON DRIVING while you’re in town. You simply cannot pay attention to that upcoming lane merge, the four way stop sign, or even a typical red/yellow/green stoplight while you’re chatting non-stop about the clothes you just purchased from the mall. Pull over to take a call, stop in the McDonalds parking lot to place one.

Be courteous to your fellow drivers on the road because, really, you’re just not that good of a driver while talking on the phone.

(To read Common Courtesy, check out Megan’s blog.)

Does anyone else think Chris was robbed (ROBBED, I tell you!) last night? I wanted to mock Paula Abdul for crying, but oddly enough I felt the same way. Whatever!

I don’t get why everyone loves Elliot. I should be rooting for my fellow diabetic (I hear he uses an insulin pump like me), but I wouldn’t buy an album featuring his style of music, so he doesn’t appeal to me. Katherine reminds me of Linda Ronstadt in many ways. She’s got an amazing voice, though she’s lacks consistency, IMO. Taylor I’ve loved from the beginning. Call him cheesy, or a one-hit wonder, but I like the guy and would definitely listen his to one of his albums. Chris was a cool dude, in his own rocker way, and consistently presented himself week after week on Idol. I’m sad to see him go.

Anyone else watching this crazy talent show?

I need a nap and I need to clean, but copying Lindsey’s Shuffle o’ Fun is so much more enjoyable on a Saturday afternoon. The deal is that you set your iPod to shuffle, then answer the questions. I didn’t cheat on any of the answers (as tempting as it was), however I did go through the list twice and picked the more sensible of the two shuffled titles.

How am I feeling today? “A Fine Romance” [Ella Fitzgerald, Forever Gold]
Will I get far in life? “Such Great Heights” [Iron & Wine, Garden State]
How do my friends see me? “Ants Marching” [Dave Matthews Band, Under the Table and Dreaming]
What is my best friend’s theme song? “Crazy” [Sommer Waite, Pass in Front of Me]
What is my theme song? “Primavera” [Santana, Supernatural]
What is the story of my life?”Complainte De La Butte” [Moulin Rouge]
What was high school like? “Sovereign Grace” [Sandra McCracken, The Builder and the Architect]
How can I get ahead in life? “Little Did I Know” [Over the Rhine, Drunkard’s Prayer]
What is the best thing about me? “Fair Phyllis I Saw” [John Farmer, Olde English Madrigals]
What is today going to be like? “Wildwood Flower” [Reese Witherspoon, Walk the Line]
What is in store for this weekend? “Introduction to Romeo” [Romeo + Juliet soundtrack]
What song describes my parents? “It is Well” [Jenny Nelson, Tell Me a Story]
Describes me? “The Grabbing Hands” [The Wiseguys, The Antidote]
How is my life going? “Do You Feel Loved” [U2 Pop]
What song will be played at my funeral? “Wake Up Dead Man” [U2, Pop]
How does the world see me? “Final Storm” [Lucy Simon, The Secret Garden]
Will I have a happy life? “You Are My Sunshine” [Norman Blake, O Brother…]
How can I make myself happy? “He is Exalted” [Eden’s Bridge, Celtic Worship]
What should I do with my life? “Simple Man” [Almost Famous soundtrack]

Pecan Bars
(taken from the Southern Living Cookbook)

1 3/4 c all purpose flour
1/3 c firmly packed brown sugar
3/4 c butter or margarine
1 c firmly packed brown sugar
4 eggs
1 c dark corn syrup
1/4 c butter or margarine, melted
1/8 t salt
1 1/4 c chopped pecans

Combine flour and 1/3 c brown sugar. Cut in 3/4 c butter with pastry blender until mixture resembles coarse meal. Press mixture evenly into a greased 13×9 inch pan and bake at 350 for 15-17 minutes.

Combine 1 c brown sugar and remaining ingredients except pecans, beating well. Stir in pecans. Pour filling over prepared crust. Bake at 350 for 35-40 minutes or until firm. Let cool, and cut into bars. Yield: about 2.5 dozen.

I had an epiphany, though I’m not sure that’s truly the word for it, a few weeks ago and here it is:

Books are not perfect.

I realized that I’ve been operating through 28 years of life under the premise that books will make everything better, books bring knowledge, books equal intelligence, books are inherently good. Right. Right? Wrong.

Books, as wonderful a learning tool as they are, are as full of crud as any reality show, soap opera, or conversation overheard on the street. Books aren’t perfect and just because a person reads plenty of books doesn’t mean they are better than the average Joe. That’s the thing of my epiphany… I had falsely concluded that well-read individuals are somehow better than everyone else. Sinful thought, I know. But then it occurred to me – the majority of books I’ve read are either fairly poorly written or full of discouraging, dark concepts. Sad, but true. It is not often I read a book that really truly resonates with me or where I gain a profound, life-enriching concept from within its pages (though perhaps this only speaks to my choice of books).

Don’t get me wrong here. It’s good to read. Reading exercises the mind in a way that television never will, so whether one reads great books or just average ones, it’s still good to read. But, ya know, books aren’t perfect.

Or maybe you already knew that.

During Lent I had more free time because I didn’t blog. Blogging for me sometimes becomes a laborious process where I spend undue amounts of time editing pictures, writing and checking comments every other minute of my day. Now that I’ve rejoined Blogland, I’m trying to figure out a way to spend less time online. In other words, I’m going to attempt something called “self-discipline.” Go figure and good luck, right?

In order to update our movie ratings (see right sidebar), I’ll drop a few names from our Blockbuster queue and leave an applicable or completely random comment related to each film.

Two movies I enjoyed: Before Sunrise and Before Sunset. I completely fell for the talking-as-plot device and could very much identify myself and my friends within the roles of Celine and Jesse. As a late twenty-something, I’ll admit I enjoyed the second film the most. A flick I did not enjoy? Four Brothers. Complete waste of time. I was a little disappointed with John Cusack for making Must Love Dogs. It was mildly entertaining, but everything in the movie felt forced. Let’s blame the screenwriters and director for that one considering Cusack and Diane Lane are decent actors. Fever Pitch qualified as a more enjoyable romantic comedy. Predictable, yes; but definitely fun to watch. What can I say? Both Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore perform consistently with charisma and charm (which, I’ll admit, can be their downfalls as actors—the same old shtick can get old quick). A few flicks were sent back only halfway finished… Mad Hot Ballroom because I just didn’t have time to finish it and I Heart Huckabees because I just wasn’t interested. I rented the Academy Award-winning Terms of Endearment because of its film location (I see you, Highway 2! and there’s UNL!) but three-quarters of the way through the movie I remember feeling the same dread I feel every time I read Romeo & Juliet, this can’t end well. And of course it didn’t and I was forced to go get a few Kleenex. Finally, I loved loved loved Rivers and Tides. I enjoyed it so much that my husband’s lucky I didn’t force him to watch the entire thing with commentary from yours truly. So, Moreheads, if you come home to wood chips stacked in an egg shape, you’ll know why. It wasn’t the movie that interested me greatly, it was the art.

Perhaps I should get off the computer, turn off the DVD player, and get me to an art museum.

I’m doing something tomorrow I’ve never done before: I’m observing Lent. And guess how I’m doing it… (Ugh) I’m giving up blogging.

No blogging on my own site. No surfing and commenting on yours either.

Overall I’m looking for this to be a time of refreshment, a time where I can focus on other goals and give more time and energy to other pursuits. Still, I will miss my blogging friends during the next 40 days. But hey! We’ll always have email ().

See you at Easter. : )

Here we go again! Our second adoption process has officially begun.

This means that while there is no baby yet on the horizon, our paperwork is being filed, our homestudy will soon be updated, multitudes of baby name books will be perused… Friends, please do us two tremendous favors as we head into adoption for the second time. One, we’d really appreciate your prayers for God’s provision in every aspect of this process. And two, please keep your ears open for us. Many, many adoptions happen by word of mouth (word of our precious Livia came via email in fact!) so keep us in mind.

If you have any questions about how adoption works, or if you’d like some more information about our family, contact me via email at .