Kids are mean.

Adults are mean.

Sometimes people are kinda rotten.

Today a little girl told my daughter that she “wasn’t cool” and then proceeded to get up from the lunch table and find another spot to sit down.

[This is me envisioning doing terrible things to that little girl.]

But I get it. I really do. I get it because I am mean, too. I have done means things, both as a kid and as an adult.

But I also get it because kids are forgiving. Adults can be empathetic. I really don’t want to hurt people’s feelings. We are all nice, at times. We are all really not nice, at times. We know what bullying is because we’ve been bullied and we’ve been the bullies. If not out loud, then definitely in our hearts.

So today, with my child who exhibited no hurt feelings at the rudeness of this fellow third grader, I talked about kindness. And I reminded her to be the kind of person Jesus want us to be—kind, loving, compassionate, friendly. I reminded her to look for the kids who are getting left out and laughed at. I reminded her that unkindness really is “uncool.”

I also talked about how people will say mean things in this life. It’s just a fact of this life. You can’t run and hide from the hard things; they exist so we must be aware of them. But you can confront them. You can recognize that sometimes people say things that just aren’t true. And other times you can understand that if you burp at the lunch table and then laugh, that some little girls will not want to hang out with you.

Sometimes you’ve got to tamp down the weirdness (a phrase I’d like to put on a t-shirt actually) and then sometimes you’ve got to find those quirky friends who get your version of weird.

But whatever you do, remember to be kind. Quit being a jerk to those who don’t look the way you want them to. Be gentle with the burpers. It’s what Jesus would do.

And parents, be gentle with your kids. School can be rough so make sure that you are their soft places to fall, that home is a respite from the mean people. Affirm your children without being aghast at the rudeness of others. The rest of the world may be rough, but your kids need to know that you love them unconditionally, quirks and all.