This morning I took a friend’s son to school while his mom and big sister attended an orthodontist’s appointment. I hadn’t spent time with this kiddo at all recently and I marveled at how much he’s matured in the last year. Only in third grade, he’s already sounding so smart and knowledgeable—and both Livia and I enjoyed having him with us in the normally hairy before-school hours. Turns out he was just the motivation we needed to look like cool, calm, collected normal people this morning.

In the hustle and bustle of life—of school and work and extracurricular activities and foster care training and, oh yeah, trying to sell a house—I wonder if I’ve forgotten something very important: my friends’ kids.

I was once a part of a group of women that got it right. They loved each other’s kids incredibly. By example they showed me how to love someone else’s children. We had a long-running Bible study/accountability group; it lasted for almost a decade. If you walked into a room of these ladies, they’d always reach for your baby. And what an amazing blessing that was to me, to have someone who would love my child when I was really tired of dealing with teething and drool and poop, etc. Because we studied the bible and held each other accountable to God’s call in our lives (or at least we tried to), we knew each other really well. Which meant we knew each other’s kids well. Talk to a mom and you’ll eventually learn about her children! I was the godmother to one friend’s children and, in pre-Liv days, bought a pack-n-play just so another friend’s babies could sleep or nap over at my house. We celebrated each birthday with excitement. We threw each other baby showers when a new arrival was expected. Or, in my case, they threw me a baby shower once we had adopted and brought Livia home. I could go on and on, but the point remains that these gals taught me how to care for each other’s children.

Life does get to moving at a fast pace—that’s not just an excuse. I live in different circles from many friends these days; I have an elementary school kid while they still have little ones at home. Still, I think it just means we have to work harder to make time for one another, to make time to get to know each other’s kids. Maybe it requires a bit more creativity, a little less “me time” and a little more reaching out.

Older folks say these growing up years go pretty fast. I want to soak up this precious time, for me and my friends, before it shoots right past me.