My friend Joanna runs Ministry of Reality Mondays on her blog, In Search of Lost Time. Another friend, Moriah, as noted in the comments section, runs Fun Mom Fridays. Both are great blogging ideas and I want to feature them here. As it happened, I recently ran a fun idea in the middle of the week and now a moment of reality on a Tuesday. BUT… if I ever do it on the right day, friends, I’ll let you know!
This photo shows my own Moment of Reality after Livia and I went to the zoo on one of the most humid days this month. I felt like a great mom that day: I bought food for the goats! I bought train tickets! I was taking my kid to the zoo on a Saturday even though I hate Saturdays at the zoo! I’m not sure Liv valued my efforts as much as I did, however. She was hot, and sweaty, and tired. So, right outside the zoo gates, she sat down on a bench in the shade and I could. not. move. her. Here it was, a thousand degrees out and my car, my Bastion of Air Conditioning, a mere 50 feet away, and my child quit moving entirely.
My friends, I did not perform well in that moment. I scolded and threatened and eventually moved her bodily onto the sidewalk once more. Inside I was getting more and more worked up. (Let’s just say I can understand the emotions that led to Steven Slater’s dramatic plane exit recently.) My hand propelled her towards the car door and then, get this, she walked away from the car and stubbornly stood in the shade of a nearby tree.
Public setting. Child with an internal tantrum. Mother about to lose it with an external tantrum. Images of myself on the six o’clock news flash before my eyes.
So, with an eye on my daughter, I got into the car, cranked up the A/C, and yelled something like, “Get in the freaking car!” I paused, looked around the car, wondered how to proceed and… picked up my camera. I’ve taken photos for many, many reasons, but this was the first time I snapped a few shots in order to calm myself down. And for the most part, it worked.
I can’t remember when Livia got in the car. I can remember hollering a lecture and issuing discipline at home. I recall the sweetness of air conditioning and how grateful I was to live in a time where air conditioning is possible. I also recall apologies all around, from mama and child alike. Thank God for grace, and photographic evidence.
I plan to pull out this picture when Liv has a rough moment with a stubborn child someday. : )
9 Comments
Renae Aug 17, 2010 2:01 PM
Oh dear, Rebecca. I’m laughing with the I-know-I-shouldn’t-laugh laugh and with the I-know-this-will-happen-to-me-too laugh. Dear sweet mama, dear sweet sixish six-year-old. Thank you for sharing this.
Jen Aug 17, 2010 6:28 PM
I think I’m smiling because I’ve made it through this and you will, too. It seems interminable, but it’s not! :)
Moriah @ Please Pass the Salt Aug 17, 2010 8:19 PM
Oh I have so been there. Except usually the kids fight TO OPEN THE DOOR so they typically are fighting to get in and not to stay out.
And, just for reference (and thank you!), you can link up any post from during the week, it does not have to be a new post on Fridays. :)
Kerri Aug 17, 2010 9:18 PM
“Get in the freaking car!” Priceless.
I am pretty sure I have said something along those lines to all seven of my kids at one time or another.
Laurie Aug 17, 2010 9:18 PM
That’s so funny, Rebecca. This brought back two memories: Aaron finding mud for the umpteenth time in our newly seeded yard…and was stomping in it …I was ready to scold him, but took a picture instead…yes, it helped relieve my anger. And, then, speaking of public instances…Nolan was being very disruptive in church when he was around 2 or 3….so I carried him out…and he was yelling “Please don’t spank me, please don’t spank me” all the way down the aisle. Most embarrassing!
Rebecca Aug 18, 2010 10:43 AM
I LOVE hearing other moms talk about preschool days. I can’t tell you how it encourages me to know that your now-grown (or mostly-grown as the case may be) children have turned out so well.
Renee W Aug 18, 2010 11:16 AM
Way to be somehow present enough to make this photograph happen.
Jo Aug 18, 2010 12:19 PM
Oh man, I had some of my own car moments that way (that ministry of real or not are not making it onto the world wide web).
She’s so adorable, even with the pout.
I’m so glad that you wrote about this! Would you mind if we put it on our roundup next week? There are a whole group of us doing it, and the more the merrier (it was actually started by a couple of dear friends–one invented the phrase, the other the idea for the blogging roundup, and now it’s a group effort).
Sarah B Aug 19, 2010 9:03 PM
Oh my gosh, Bec, laughing out loud here, with no shame in doing so!!
Steven Slater reference: priceless. Just like Jimmy Fallon says, “You gotta grab 2 beers and jump!” This moment with Liv was probably a good time to do just that. :)
And have you ever read this blog: http://www.welcometomybrain.net? I think I sent you a link one time (lots of adoption references). Anyway, one thing this mom does with her children who suffer from Reactive Attachment Disorder (adopted from Haiti) is that she sometimes pulls out the video camera when they’re in an esp defiant moment. She literally talks them through the moment while video taping. Something about having their childish moment forever captured gives them extra motivation to stop the behavior. And I don’t mean that she uses it in a demeaning way, like, “Let’s all watch how ridiculous so-and-so was today!!” Not at all. But just thought you’d appreciate.
And so encouraging that photography was a able to calm a mom’s temper tantrum. (Adult temper tantrum?? Been there more than a few times myself!!) Love you, woman!