John Rosemond’s parenting column in the Lincoln Journal Star:

One does not have to teach antisocial beahvior to toddlers. They are by nature violent, deceitful, destructive, rebellious and prone to sociopathic rages if they do not get their way. Example: A 2-year-old who has never experienced, witnessed, or even heard described an act of violence will slap his mother across the face or bite her most accessible body part if she dares deny him a cookie and then ventures too close to his tantrum. Toddlers are convinced that the rules do not apply to them, that they are under no obligation to obey legitimate authority, that in fact is is they who are to be obeyed. It is surely a measure of either God’s mercy or the purposefulness of evolution that unlike other mammals, human beings to do not grow to full size in one or two years.

Socializing the toddler is the Single Biggest Challenge of Parenthood.

Hallelujah! Someone understands my life!!! Thank you, Mr. Rosemond, for a healthy dose of empathy and encouragement during the exact moment I need it most.

********

She Got Up Off the Couch, by Haven Kimmel

The couch in the den was the color the crayon people called Flesh even thought it resembled no human or animal flesh on Planet Earth, and the couch fabric was nubbled in a pattern of diamonds. It was best to prevent the nubbles from coming into direct contact with one’s real Flesh, so there was usually a blanket or a towel or clothing spread out as a buffer. Also no one wanted to pick up the blanket, the towel, and the clothing and fold them. Or even pick them up. So it was a fine arrangement.

This book is Kimmel’s follow-up to her earlier memoir A Girl Named Zippy. The author is hilariously detailed in recording her childhood memories and I’ve enjoyed this set of memories as much as the last. I’m not yet halfway through the book, so I’ve got more to go, but one story in particular about her father’s encounter with a nest of rats had me laughing out loud. Good stuff.