You can learn a lot from one morning at the DMV’s office—besides the fact that you should check and double-check that you have your registration, proof of insurance and the little postcard in hand, that is. (I drove 15 minutes to the DMV only to realize my insurance card was sitting on the kitchen counter still… Argh!) Today I learned two very important truths on etiquette that I feel should be duly shared with the general public.

Number One. Both men and women ought to develop particular observation skills in order to be considerate to others. What I really mean is: HOLD THE STINKIN’ DOOR OPEN FOR ME, PEOPLE! Can’t you see I’ve got a 20 lb. baby/carseat combo on my arm? I have never in my life been more grateful for gentlemanly behavior than I am now as a mother, especially as a mother with a connective tissue disorder. My heart overflows with gratitude when a man pauses a few seconds to hold a door open for Livia and me. On the flip side, I cannot tell you how frustrated I am by the lack of manners displayed in recent days. When I was leaving Arby’s a few weeks ago with baby in tow, *I* actually held the door open for a big grizzly blue-collar dude. Uh hello?

Number Two. Both men and women ought to develop mentalities of kindness in order to be considerate to other drivers. After driving to the DMV twice, then waiting in the drive-thru line only to find it was much quicker to get out and go inside, and then having the DMV doors shut in my face by the inconsiderate fellows in front of me, I was a bit of a testy driver. Thus when a cute young blond driving dangerously fast cut in front of me in the parking lot, not even looking at me because she was so consumed by her cell phone conversation, I was ticked. And the strangest thing happened—I thought the driver was my dear friend, sweet Jenny Nelson (though it wasn’t afterall). I instantly chilled out. ‘Cuz, you know? it was Jenny! Lessoned learned: Put a face on the drivers around you. Pretend the person who is tailing you is your friend who is late for taking an exam. Or the guy who cut in front of you is your pastor and he just wasn’t paying attention. Trust me—it really helps you become kinder!

**For other “Manners for a Better World”, check out the rules of etiquette for attending the theater.