When I was little I actually liked the dentist’s office. I liked the whole reclining chair, spotlight on your teeth, staring at the ceiling posters gig. I liked choosing a flavor for the teeth cleaning procedure. I really liked one dentist in particular who was very funny and, this always helps, who really liked me. I loved going home with a brand new toothbrush, tube of toothpaste and floss. Plus, sometimes I’d get a coupon for a free ice cream cone (go figure!) after being a good patient! Loved those ice cream cones.
Then, one day, things changed. The reclining chair dipped too far back for my taste. The headache-inducing whiz of the dental tools caused my temples to reel in horror. And, this was the clincher, no more coupons for free dessert!
So with mounting dread, yesterday I found myself back in my dentist’s office for the long-awaited creation of a new crown. (For some odd, unknown reason, my first and only crown cracked, broke and fell off within one year of molar coverage. Grr!) My very kind dentist and my very kind dental hygienist kindly directed me to the reclining chair, leaned me back and got to work dabbing topical anesthetic on my gums. The rest of my 90 minutes appointment saw an internal conversation that went something like this:
Oh no! I’m going to have to get a shot! I didn’t know I had to get a shot! Darn. I’m going to be here awhile.
Eeeeek!
Darn. I’m going to be here even longer.
Ugh. Not feeling so hot… Stomach’s kind of queasy. Can’t breathe very well. I wonder if anyone’s ever thrown up while in the chair? That would be so bad. So bad. Don’t throw up. Think nice thoughts. Cool breezes. Fresh air. There ya go.
Five minutes? Five minutes? I can’t breathe for one minute, much less five! Alright. Gotta distract myself with People. Huh. Kevin Costner got married again. Oh dear. Can the man not smile even for his wedding pictures? He probably feels self-conscious or something when he smiles. I know some folks like that.
All done? That was the fastest five minutes ever!
I’m a weenie.
5 Comments
andrew Oct 7, 2004 7:49 AM
you anti-dentite! i leave the dentist’s office with a soaking wet shirt and broken fingers. quite literally, i was dripping with sweat last time. (i had to get a filling filed down and she didn’t want to use anesthetic because it would take too long. instead she told me to bear the pain for a few minutes. drill — teeth — grinding — white knuckles gripping the armrests.) you’ve got to be kidding me you insane denstist.
Sarah B. Oct 7, 2004 8:22 PM
Yucky, Rebecca! I had no idea you had to get a crown! ugh, I hate going to the dentist, too. I didn’t even know what a crown was until this past weekend when Dave’s mom was telling me all about her crowns and then proceded to get right in my face, open her mouth, and pull her lip down to actually show me what a crown looks like. As you can imagine, i was a bit aghast at this and kept thinking to myself, “Thanks, but no thanks, Jan, I’d rather just take your word for it!”
So anyway, i hope you’ve recovered from your dentist shots. They suck! Don’t you feel sorry for dentists…nobody wants to see them and 95% of the population is afraid of them!
adam Oct 8, 2004 11:24 AM
andrew, that is absolutely horrifying. you should write her boss and get her canned. what a sadist!
becca, dentist-fear is good. it’s ’cause in a state of nature nobody other than _head_ monkey should be pokin’ sticks in yer mouth! no really, it’s perfectly normal and dentists know more about fear that anyone save pediatricians and proctologists!
(snidely) i don’t really mind dentists. (points out that he went to a dentist about five years ago and it wasn’t that bad) (snickers)
Rebecca Oct 8, 2004 1:07 PM
Adam, I realized at this visit how much my dentist understands about fear! I think he could sense my panic and every once in awhile would ask, “Are you okay? ”
You and Jeremy! What’s up with never visiting the dentist? (Darn those good teeth genes that all went to you!!)
Jeremy Oct 8, 2004 1:38 PM
Don’t be too jealous, sweetie. I suspect my first cavity may have arrived. :(